Pimp My Frost

Hi, my name is Krizzlybear.  I’m 23, and I just recently graduated University.  I have a Frost Mage on Winterhoof named Bashertin.  Apparently frost mages are out of style in PvE.  People won’t even let me into Naxx PuGs!  Come on MTV, please pimp my Frost Mage!

Yo, dawg!  I heard your Frost Mage is totally busted in PvE and shit!  So I’m gonna pimp your mage, bro!

OMG, Xzibit!  You’re going to pimp my Frost Mage?

Fa Sho!  I heard that you like Frost Mages, so I’m gonna put some frost in your mage so you can frost while you mage!

Awesome!  Let’s get to it!

Water Elemental

So check it, dawg.  I noticed that your water elemental only lasts for a minute, and its cooldown is 2 minutes.  That’s only 50% uptime.  I think that’s whack!  So I’ve gone and increased its duration to 2 minutes!  That’s 100% uptime!

Wow, xzibit!  That’s freaking awesome!  But won’t that break PvP?

Naw bro.  We decided that Water Elementals don’t have enough resilience to survive burst damage.  Killing pets in Wrath has never been easier!

Gee, thanks a lot!  I also like how my Squirtle isn’t a permanent pet either!

Yeah dawg!  Otherwise, you’d just be a wannabe warlock!  And who wants to be a warlock, anways!?  Having to re-summon your Elemental makes it a sexier version of a lock’s DoT.  How cool is that?



Man, Xzibit.  People in my raid don’t like it when I spec replenishment.  My 2.x-second frostbolt constantly re-applies the replenishment buff, so it doesn’t tick at each 2-second interval!  We’re the worst Replenishment class ever!

Yo dawg, remember your water elemental before 3.1?  It had a mana regeneration aura while it was active right?  But now it has 100% uptime, we decided that your elemental will provide replenishment just by being alive!

Xzibit, that’s amazing, bro!  But isn’t that a bit too easy?

Naw dawg.  You’re still responsible for keeping it alive.  If it dies, you have to wait until the next cooldown to get replenishment up again!  If you let it die in void zones or lava walls, then you’d be a pretty bad mage!

True that!

Brain Freeze

So bro, I know you don’t like Fireball.  We get it.  You’re all frost in this shiz.  So instead of a chance of getting a free instant-cast Fireball, we’re giving you a chance of getting an instant Frostfire Bolt!

Wow!  Awesome!

Yeah dawg!  We know you have zero mana problems in this shizzle, so we’re giving you the ability to decide whether or not you want to shoot some Frostfire bolts.  On top of that, We know that Fireball doesn’t scale well with your talents, so we replaced it with a spell that does!

That’s so freaking sick!

And bro, not only does this make your 4-piece T8 awesome, but it also encourages mages to try out Frost-based frostfire builds as well!  Combine that with a water elemental that provides replenishment, you got yourself one sexy deep-frost frostfire mage!

Frostfire spam with Improved Scorch, Water Elemental, and Cold Snap…now that’s an interesting spell/cooldown rotation!

Talent Bloat

So bro, I notice that you have very little flexibility in your talent selection due to talent bloat.  The main culprit here is Torment the Weak.  So what we did was remove the Frostbolt damage clause from TTW and moved it to Chilled to the Bone!

Wicked!  More points!

And that’s not all, bro!  We even made the damage bonus apply to ANY frost damage spell.  So that includes blizzard and Frostfire Bolt!


Seriously dawg, that’s how we roll at Pimp my Mage!  And you’re not just saving 3 points from TTW either.  You’re saving another 4 points that would be spent on getting to that tier on the arcane tree just to get it!  That’s a sick 7 points!

OMG WAAHAHAHAHAHA!!  *runs off, squeeing*

Yo, this guy seriously lost it.  See y’all later…err, y’all.


9 thoughts on “Pimp My Frost

  1. @Sprink, theerivs, Eury: Yo dawgs, I heard you like to comment, so I left a comment in the comments section so I can comment while you comment!

  2. @Krizzly – Leaving you another comment, I think your comment, you could of squeezed another comment in there, thus I found the comment lacking. Urging me to leave a comment of my own, telling you my thoughts on your comment, lacking the word “comment”. I hope you appreciat that I am leaving this comment, to enlighten you of said comment. As always this comment is my opinion and not a factual comment.

    Fo sheezy dawg LOL!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s