Dear Emalon

Dear Emalon,

I am writing a letter to you expressing my concern about your recent moving into my vault.  Prior to 3.1, I had a nice little niche carved out in the depths of the Wintergrasp Fortress.  Every week, I would open my doors to horde and alliance alike and provide an easy fight for all newcomers and alts alike, giving them a chance at gear that they would otherwise have to get through naxxramas runs.  While I cannot speak for Kel’Thuzad and his cronies, I particularly enjoyed the relationship I had with my visitors.

But then you arrived, and all of a sudden their visits have been less frequent.  For some reason, people like you more, and want to take a shot at your awesome ulduar loot.  Unfortunately, you don’t play nice with them like I do, and like to overcharge your minions and blow people up, entire raids at a time.  Your visitors, often consisting of a mix of scrubs and pros, get mad, and simply leave.  And when they do go bye-bye, they don’t even bother saying hello to me.

The Dev Gods say that they want the content to be “accessible.”  If anything, my prowess as a weekly host is the epitome of that accessibility and friendliness towards the casual crowd.  But you, dear storm watcher, have sabotaged that accessibility.  I used to hear the murmurs outside my walls, saying “lf1m anything then gtg.”  But now all I hear are “lfm GOOD DPS MUST BE PRO PST WITH ACHIEVEMENT” and the like.

Now I’m not saying that you should simply get the hell out of my turf.  Well, I am somewhat, but I don’t want you to leave outright either.  Is there some way that you could, well, have your own vault, separate from my own, so that the alts and scrubs that want to finish off their tier sets can start their own groups separate from yours?

Or maybe, renovate the vault so people have to go through me first?  I’m just asking, you know, since it’s practically the first time in the history of Azeroth that two bosses of two entirely different raid tiers were in the same room together.

I suppose I’m just overreacting.  The recent lack of visitors has allowed me some beauty rest.  That is, until one of your minions explodes, then it’s just ridiculous trying to get back to bed, hearing the incessant whining from the deceased raiders hopelessly trying to get you down.  Because, in the end, many of them want to spend some time with me.  Anyways, let me know what you think, perhaps we can discuss this over coffee.

See you later,

Archavon, the Stone Watcher


9 thoughts on “Dear Emalon

  1. Amen to that. I can’t even get into a Vault group anymore because I haven’t done Emalon, but I can’t DO Emalon if no one will let me into their group. And even if Archie has no gear for me anymore…there’s badges and the possibility of a mammoth, helloooo people. I’ll never get why they pass up a “free” boss.

  2. My favorite is when it’s late on Monday night, use your reset or lose it time, and groups STILL want to do Emalon first.

    It is worth noting that some of the change may be due to increased guild raiding with the launch of Ulduar. With guilds farming all of the pre-Ulduar content in 2-3 nights a week, there were plenty of raiders with nothing better to do than down Archi with a PUG and hope for Arena gear. These guys are more busy, and less inclined to risk being saved to a ID with a PUG that can’t down Emalon when they can just wait for a guild run that can later in the week.

  3. Aww, Arky! Are you still upset about my break up letter? No worries, although I haven’t been seeing you anymore, I’m actually having trouble seeing Emalon.

    He’s playing hard to get.

    I don’t suppose you’d, like, talk to him for me would you?


  4. Dearest Syrana,

    My time spent away from you has been unbearable. I spend countless nights dreaming of what could have been. I try to focus my energy towards my new neighbour, but all he does is give me the cold shoulder and kill people who want to see me. Sigh, Sometimes I wish I could turn back to the previous patch, but I’m a stone watcher, not a time warden. Such is life. I wish you well.


  5. @rep: funny story. I was just in a near-failpug this week. We spent about 2 hours wiping on him, but the last try before Wintergrasp opened for battle, we got him down, and a guildy that pugged with me won the mammoth with a 96 and a 98 (tied 96, rolled 98 tiebreaker).

    @GA: If those types of people exist, I’ve yet to run into them. I’m on a small server, so those types are few and far in between.

  6. Remove Arc? What about newly-dinged 80’s? Certainly there’s room for Archie’s level of loot for those people. Just because a large number of players have progressed to a higher gear level, doesn’t mean there aren’t plenty of players out there who could still use the loot, not to mention people with little raid experience who could learn by doing easier content like that.

  7. Dear Gemski,

    Please don’t have me removed! I beg of you! All I want out of life is to give loot to little children who just dinged 80. If I have to go, then they ought to remove the other non-80 raids too!

    Just a thought,


  8. Dear Arky,

    I’m sorry that our break up has pained you so. I really did mean to stay “just friends” but I have not done well in following through on that. I will try to visit when I can. We used to throw some bumpin’ parties at your place.

    Honestly, although Emalon has bigger rewards, he … he has anger management and OCD issues. I mean, have you seen the trouble his 4 homies cause?

    Forever evil,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s