Team America Theory

I’m quite happy in my new guild right now.  Vent is lively with humor, joke chat, sarcasm, pretty much a perpetual gust of fresh air; something I haven’t felt pretty much ever.  As crude as some of the jokes may have been, there is an edginess that I find quite refreshing.

Then a topic of a certain individual (not a part of the guild at any time during its history) came up, and as the guild newbie, I was explained what had happened, and apparently the guild has an enemy, and perhaps more than one; some whom have made the trek over from the guild’s previous realm.  Whether that was for the sole purpose of antagonizing the guild, I don’t know.

All I know is that, thanks to a certain theory coined by Team America, a movie I had recently watched since joining Exiled Legion, the guild has no problem dealing with any adversary; something that many guilds are incapable of doing, because they’re afraid of having it in the first place.

After the break: Language not suitable for younger children (seriously)

The Dicks, Pussies, and Assholes Theory

I have some studying to do today, so I’ll make this quick, simply by quoting the source itself, the great comedy movie and Thunderbirds spoof, Team America: World Police.

“See, there’s three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along, and dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes, Chuck. And all the assholes want us to shit all over everything! So, pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes, Chuck. And if they didn’t fuck the assholes, you know what you’d get? You’d get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit!”

Okay, thanks to the nature of the vocabulary used in the movie, please do not be shocked at the applications that I’m about to make, and the language I use to get the message across.

And yes, this post is a bit of a response to Matticus’ “No Asshole Rule.”  Did you notice that his post says “no assholes,” but didn’t say “no dicks?”  That’s because in some way, shape or form, every guild needs a dick or so.  Because if you don’t have any dicks, any assholes that slip through into your guild will simply shit all over its members.

Thinking back, I wonder if that’s what contributed to the gradual fallout of the Ironwill Mercenaries.  I can pinpoint a particular moment in its recent history when we simply got shit on by an asshole that slipped through.  This particular individual had quite a few enemies in trade, and when he was let on board by the GM, who probably didn’t know better, I had the opportunity to oppose the recruitment.  My excuse?  “I didn’t want to be a dick and say anything about it.” 

Oh boy, if I had watched Team America back then, how things would be so different.

Simply put, I was a pussy.  I didn’t nip this in the butt, and all of a sudden the guild was covered in shit.  People didn’t like the shitty environment at the time, and left; when the dust settled, more people left because they themselves probably thought that the guild was full of pussies.  We had no dicks in the guild to fuck over the assholes that shit all over our guild.  And that was that.

Fast-forward to today, and it seems to me that the guild I’m in has a good number of dicks in it.  And that’s a good thing, because the guild has rules that prohibit them from being complete assholes.  Because at the end of the day, some dicks and pussies can be so full of shit that they can be assholes themselves.

After all, dicks and pussies are only a few inches away from assholes.

4 thoughts on “Team America Theory

  1. Oh, and when I say that my guild has a good number of dicks in it, I mean that in relation to the definition of pussies and assholes. I also mean that in the context of the guild itself, not with people outside of the guild.

    They like to joke around with each other and raze each other quite harshly at times, but they’re willing to stand up for their friends and what they believe in as a guild. And I’m quite most if not all social circles are like this, so I hope the meaning is not lost on everyone.

    I swear, back to normal language in future posts. Ciao.

  2. I like that theory.. its right though that there has to be a ‘stopper’ on the Ahats to control them in some form.

  3. Yes, I agree. Although this knowledge won’t be of use to me because I will NEVER lead a guild again. I’m not even sure I will join a real guild in the future. I think I turned my dicks into pussies. Even though I tried to recognize assholes and boot them swiftly, one had infiltrated and turned some of the pussies into assholes. A week before I gave my large successful (18 months of progression) guild away, I deguilded the asshole king. Too many of the pussies had turned into whiners and I was tired of being the problem solver.

  4. Pingback: Passive Aggressive « Critical QQ

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